Who Gives A Dragonshit About Plot
by virus47
Summary: Random, smutty and sexy one-shots with HTTYD characters. Prompts welcome! Warning: this will contain all sorts of pairings, and sex situations. No rape/non-consensual/underage/Male-male content. Assume all characters are 21 or above. Please don't read and flame if you don't like.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own how HTTYD or its characters. This is a work of pure fantasy.**

 **Love and Lust is temporarily on hiatus. I am so busy with life and work stuff, not being able to write a lot, and sex stories need some creative thinking.**

 **Beware: Extreme Erestrid. Don't read if you don't like. No flames please. For readers, there's a little twist at the end.**

* * *

"Thanks for helping with the boxes, Eret."

"No worries."

They sat down on the couch, and Astrid started rubbing her feet.

"What happened babe?"

"Nothing, just with all the heavy lifting and moving… Hiccup had to go to work, luckily he sent you."

"Yeah you know, I was sorta free today, but he had that meeting with a big client, so…"

"Hey thanks again."

"And again, no worries."

Astrid kept on rubbing her feet while talking.

"Babe, I can help you with that." Eret said.

"What?"

"I can give you a foot massage."

"What? No… no need."

"Hey c'mon, you're hurting, I can guess."

"No… well yeah a bit… but it will be weird."

"What's weird?"

"You know, the 'foot massage'. Haven't you seen Pulp Fiction?"

Eret laughed, "Oh no no no… not that kind. Come on, it will be ok."

"You sure?"

"Hey, just don't tell Hiccup, for he is the gang leader and will throw me off a building like Marsellus."

Astrid laughed, "Haha ok, go ahead."

Eret got off the couch, and sat near Astrid's foot. He started massaging with the bottom of the feet with his thumbs, and slowly moved towards the fingers.

"Feels so good…" Astrid's breaths were getting quicker. She had her eyes closed, enjoyed every touch he was making. His hands left her feet, and travelled upward. She was not in a state to complain, the pleasure was too much.

It was when he touched her thighs, she regained her senses.

"Eret, no…"

She had not realized when he had opened the button of her jeans. Her navel was exposed, and he had his mouth there. She moaned heavily, but grabbed his head and stopped him.

"What, babe? Don't you want it?"

"Stop, Eret… please… I am married to Hiccup..." His fingers were dangerously close to her panties….

"You were my girlfriend before that…"

"Yes but we never did anything… I wanted to stay pure for my husband…" His hands were moving up again, near her breasts…

"Well you are nor 'pure' anymore, are you?" He grabbed her breasts once, and then he stood up. His cock was free through his open fly. He moved towards her. It was so close to her face.

She took it in her mouth. She sucked it, and again, and again. He moaned as his cock got harder and harder.

He grabbed her head and kept thrusting it in her mouth. He took it out after a while.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, oh yes…"

"Want more honey?"

"Mm hmm…"

"Like this?" He grabbed her breasts from under her shirt, and kissed her.

"Yes baby…"

"Didn't you ever want to fuck when we dated? We did a lot except that…"

"Then show me why I should regret that decision…"

He did not waste any more words. He grabbed her face and kissed fiercely. She returned the kiss. Their tongues met and danced, entangled. He grabbed her shirt, and tore it off. Her buttons flew everywhere.

"Two can play this game." She looked at his eyes and tore off his shirt too.

He turned her so he could get behind her, and took her pants down with the panties. She bent down on the couch, knowing what's coming. Hiccup always preferred missionary position, and so did she. It gave her maximum pleasure mixed with a personal closeness and romance with Hiccup. But the current situation was not romantic at all, it was just animal sex. And she did not find getting fucked like a specific one.

He licked her wet pussy, pushing his tongue deep, and circling around it. And then he decided to put his manhood inside her, and fuck her brains out. He thrusted repeatedly, grunting, panting, and Astrid complimented him with her screams. His cock was big, and was giving her ultimate pleasure. Then he out her on the couch, and drove his cock like a sledgehammer. There was little pause for Astrid to regain breath. It was not like her times with Hiccup, where they both were participants. They liked to play with each other, tease, whisper stuff, long foreplays and equally long lovemaking as they both proceeded slow. Sometimes they did it rough too, and each took turns for controlling the other. But Eret dominated her, he treated her body like a sex doll. But she did not complain. She wanted it. He was fucking her so hard, she squirted as she orgasmed, something she didn't know she was capable of doing. She squirted all over herself, getting drenched in her own juices. The she felt his cock tighten, and finally releasing deep inside her. He collapsed over her, his face on her chest, and panted. She embraced him, as he slowly sucked one of her nipples, like a baby.

That night, when Hiccup came home, Astrid knelt down in front of as he sat on the couch.

"Babe, I have a confession to make." Astrid said, looking down.

"What, milady?"

She looked up, clearly excited. She said in a whispering voice, "I did something from your fantasies."

Hiccup did not have to guess twice. He fantasized about her fucking her ex-boyfriend. Astrid knew about it, and Hiccup knew that she will then tell her all about it, and he would get excited to fuck her. He was also happy that he won a bet with Eret that he could seduce his ex-girlfriend. Hiccup knew that Eret and Astrid never had sex, Hiccup was the one to take her virginity. A couple nights back, he told her about his fantasy, and made the decision to himself to lure them together. After all, that would also give him leverage to fuck Eret's wife and Astrid's best friend Heather, with both Eret and Astrid's permission.

It was a triple win for Hiccup.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: When writing Love and Lust, many smut scenes came to my mind, which, for some reason, did not make to the final cut. Here is one of them. Very short, one-shot, Hiccstrid.**

 **I do not own HTTYD, RTTE or any related show or character. This is a work of pure fantasy.**

* * *

It was a lazy weekend day.

The clothes were all over the floor. Hiccup and Astrid couldn't care less. They were busy on their bed. Astrid was on top, riding Hiccup.

"Oh yes babe, like that!" She was agreeing with Hiccup when he had started to thrust from below, matching her pace. She leaned to kiss him, and he grabbed her breast. She moaned loudly as he fondled them, twitching the nipples.

"I'm close."

Astrid slowed down, "Wanna go top babe?"

"You know me, Milady."

They switched. He thrust his member into her again, pushing in and pulling out rapidly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." she panted as her orgasm came closer and closer.

Hiccup understood her well. "I'm coming…"

"Me too…"

As he shot his load inside her, an overwhelming pleasure enveloped her, as she reached her climax with him.

* * *

 **Please R &R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I do not own HTTYD or its characters. This is a work of pure fantasy.**

 **WARNING! WARNING! Cheating and shameless smut. ERESTRID. DO NOT PROCEED if you hate. DO NOT FLAME if you still choose to proceed.**

* * *

It was an odd time to visit an adult toy store. There was only the guy behind the counter, and no other customers. Astrid figured that not many people will be there in the middle of a working day.

It was her and Hiccup's 3rd anniversary, and she intended to get some stuff like handcuffs and dildos, something to add some more spice to their sex life. Then she noticed that they sell videos as well.

 _Who sells videos now-a-days when everything is available online?_ She thought.

She still picked up one. "Cheating with the Boss" the title read. There were a few busty pornstars, dressed as secretaries sucking cocks of their bosses.

"Looking for anything particular?" Someone asked from behind her. It was the guy from the counter.

"Hi… um, no, not really…"

He smiled, "Eh, no problem. But if you tell me what this is for, I can help you."

The guy was attractive, Astrid noticed. Tall like Hiccup, but with a muscular body. A few tattoos were showing on his arms and neck. He wore some really tight shirt, making him look more buff. _Eret Eretson_ , the name card read.

Astrid realized she was blushing looking at him. "Ummm… well, I was looking at some toys… and videos…. I wanted to surprise my husband. Today is our anniversary…"

"Ah, porn and kink as anniversary gift. You are a good wife indeed. And I dare say, you are sexy as well."

She was not being able to control her blush.

"Thanks…"

"So what's your fantasy? Or your husband's?"

"Actually, I am not sure… we have fantasies, but I am not sure which one will be good…"

"Ok, so… we have a viewing room. There's a TV, you can take some videos with you back there, and watch. If you like something, you can come back here and pay."

"Really? That's… good. So I can go and watch… privately?"

"Totally private, Miss..."

"Astrid."

"Eret." He shook her hand.

Astrid picked up a couple of tapes and followed him to the room.

"I'll be at the counter. If you need any help, please ring this bell on the wall. You can lock from inside so no one will be able to disturb you."

"Ok, thanks."

Eret left. Astrid closed the door. There was a TV on the wall, with a DVD player, and a remote.

 _This will be fun_ , she thought.

She put a video in. The video started with any cheesy porn story: secretary working hard, boss seducing her, and her giving him a blowjob.

Astrid was getting turned on. In her head, something else was playing. She was fantasizing about Eret. She was imagining how his muscular body would feel if he had grabbed her from behind, how those fingers would play inside her pussy, how he would force himself into her, and fuck her brains out. She started masturbating, moaning slightly. Suddenly, she noticed something on the wall…

 _What the…_

She didn't notice a hole in the wall before. The purpose of the hole was clear, as she saw a massive cock hanging through it.

Astrid moved towards it. What's the harm in tasting a bit, she thought. _Hiccup would never know…_

She felt the cock get harder and harder as she sucked it. The juice tasted delicious. She heard moans and gasps as she worked more and more, taking the huge dick deep inside her throat. She took her top off, massaging her own breasts as her mouth kept working on the dick. Giving a blowjob to a total stranger excited her beyond control. She wanted to go much farther.

She pulled the chair to her so she could balance herself. She positioned herself so that her pussy was right in front of the now rock hard cock. It was doggy style, but she was thrusting herself onto the cock. She kept on doing it, fucking, twisting, grabbing and sucking on it again and again.

"Are you ready to cum?" She asked the stranger as she felt the cock tense.

"Oh yes", a sound came from other side of the wall.

Astrid smiled, and started jerking him off. "I want to drink all of it", she declared. She jerked continuously, and then touched the tip of the cock with the tip of her tongue. That was all the guy could take. His sperms were free, and Astrid was more than happy to envelope the tool with her mouth, and catch every drop in her throat. She drank it, and then licked it clean.

As she rested on the chair, catching her breath, she saw the cock retreat into the wall, and heard footsteps going out.

* * *

"I will take this one, but I am not ready to pay yet." Astrid said at the counter.

"You wanna surf some more, Astrid?" Eret asked.

Astrid replied with a devilish smile, "Yes. This time, I want to see your face as you take me on this counter."

Eret was surprised, "How did you know it was me?"

Astrid was already on the other side of the counter, pulling down the chain of Eret's jeans.

"Simple. I recognized your voice." She had pulled his cock out and taken it in her mouth.

"Fuck… someone might come in."

"Nope. You forgot to turn the sign at the door back to 'open' when you came back."

Eret did not waste any more time. He lifted and put her on the table, lifted her skirt and took her panty off. Astrid moaned as he started licking. His tongue did wonders to her, and she climaxed quickly. She squirted hard on his face. His shirt was wet.

"Time to take this off."

"Not here." He picked her up in his arms.

"Where are you taking me?"

"My apartment is upstairs."

Astrid smiled.

* * *

Astrid left the store after an hour, knowing that she would be back very soon. Hiccup would never know.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! My parents were visiting so smut writing was out of the question :-)**

 **This is to the readers who requested anal stuff between Erestrid. Also, this story came after a special request from a very well known writer in FF, who had the time to read my stories. He wishes to remain anonymous though :-P However, I think he will not expect the twist at the end.**

 **Again, HTTYD and its characters are not my property. This is a work of pure fantasy.**

 **Please R &R, and keep the prompts coming!**

* * *

Astrid was looking forward to this night.

She, and her boyfriend Eret, had different shifts, so they had very little time to spend together. All throughout the week, when he used to come home, she used to leave for her work, and vice versa. That had been going on for the last one month.

Hiccup, her best friend at work, always used to tell her that it would be alright. Whenever she got sad or frustrated, he helped her. They were very close, so close that some people thought that they were a couple, and when someone used to point them out, they always refuted them saying that they were just good friends. Hiccup actually had a fiancée, Heather. Astrid knew her, they were good friends in high school.

Eret had said that he would do that night shift for a couple months, and then their regular life would be back on. Astrid would not have agreed to the frustrating life otherwise. These two months had a long weekend in between, and she was looking forward to that night when neither have them would have to be out, or go to sleep, or be so tired to do anything else than eat dinner and crash on the bed.

Sex with Eret was amazing. He was an animal in the bed, and always managed to fuck her brains out whenever they did it, which was almost every other night for the past year and a half they had been dating. Lately though, Astrid was asking herself if the sex was the only thing that bound her to this relationship, because she was not really satisfied otherwise. Eret had issues committing to the relationship, and there had been feuds between them, but nothing could change him much. However, Astrid disregarded the thoughts as a result of her loneliness in the past month, and Hiccup also convinced her saying the same thing.

That night, she did not care at all. She was getting that sex again. She was hungry.

She did not wear anything underneath her mostly revealing clothes.

She teased him by getting away when he tried to pull her close.

She bent down, fake trying to pick something up which revealed her pussy to her.

She did not protest when Eret finally lost it and grabbed her from behind.

He bit her neck. She moaned.

He tore off the clothes from the front and fondled her breasts.

He pushed two fingers up her pussy and fingered rapidly, so hard Astrid came within seconds.

She took the remaining pieces of cloth from her body and pulled Eret's shirt off over his head, and then pulled his pants down. _Gods_ she loved blowing that monstrous cock. She could take it all in her mouth, and was always complimented by him for the not-so-easy feat.

She was not having enough of it. She wanted to suck it dry, and she did. Her tongue worked magic, and it moved up and down along his length, caressed the tip and cleaning the oozing fluid. Her head moved rapidly, and he was thrusting in into her throat. Soon she felt the member hardening, ready to erupt. Despite his warnings, she didn't move her mouth. Instead, she covered it entirely. Spurts of semen entered her throat, and she happily drank it all.

Astrid let Eret suck her breasts. He took his time to slowly move down and reach her pussy. This time his tongue did the job, and she reached her orgasm, twice.

Eret was rock hard again, and he assumed control. He brought her to the bed. He wanted to fuck her doggy style, and she obliged. She got down on all four, and he thrusted deep inside her pussy.

The house was full of her screams, and his grunts. They both lost the sense of time. All Astrid remembered were the pleasurable thrusts, her squirting orgasms again and again, the wet bed sheets, the hardening of his cock, and his semen deep inside her.

They were both covered in sweat, and Astrid was satisfied, but Eret was not. He carried her to the shower, where they cleaned each other up, only for Astrid to discover that he is hard again.

Astrid took support of the shower wall, as he took her from behind again. She was ready for a hard thrust in her pussy, but the pressure moved to her asshole. She realized what was happening, and welcomed it. It was the first time Eret wanted to fuck her in the ass in all these years. Astrid herself often fantasized about it listening to her kinky girlfriend Rachel, but this time she was about to experience it first hand.

Eret used the cream he found in the shower cabinet to make it easy. When he thrusted in, Astrid screamed like she lost her virginity. But he took it slow, building the pleasure in her, and then increasing the pace. Astrid never imagined an intense orgasm from anal sex.

Among those powerful waves of pleasure, Astrid understood Eret was about to release again. Her third remaining hole was about to be filled by his seed.

And he finished soon after, moaning a name. _Oh, Heather, oh fuck..._

 _What the- ?_

The rest of the night was very quiet. They cleaned themselves in the shower, silently had dinner, and went to bed without saying a word.

Astrid had planned earlier not to sleep and fuck her man all night. At least the first part of her plan was inevitable.

She had a new plan; a plan to drive to her best friend's place in the morning, and tell him that his fiancée was cheating on him with her unfaithful boyfriend.


End file.
